MOM!!!!! I don't need a college education THAT badly!

Shut up kid, Momma's gotta do what Momma's gotta do...

How does a lousy, second-rate book-keeper, and wholly unfit mother, get her emotionally stunted kid through high school?

Michael Kentzell, and a gold-digging prostitute

When you're crowned Petaluma's resident town whore, fifteen consecutive years in a row, it's easy!

1) Wait for the disgraced perverted sexual predator, Leo Laporte, to cheat on his own wife and kids, and text you:

"Come over, I'm naked in bed waiting for you.
The door is open.
Disgraced, perverted sexual predator, the abusive, exploitative, morally bankrupt Leo Laporte

2) Text this back to the roly-poly pervert:


3) Seal the deal!

Oh, and don't forget to put a photograph of your worn-out snatch on that pervert's smart watch. How's THAT for a cool use of tech!

Well, that'll surely work out real good. Until, that is, the roly-poly, compulsive liar accidentally exposes THAT live on air as well too:

With such a professional gold-digging super-slut for a mother, is there any wonder that Michael Kentzell is such a screw up?

Lisa so-called "Laporte": Pure, undiluted evil.